The deadline to join a team is this Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 11:59PM.

My team name is Ruby’s for Boobies.

If you watched the show last night thanks for tuning in. It was a good time.

• Don’t be a dick.
• Don’t be an idiot.

That’s about it really. I’m leaving the anonymous function on…for now. Play nice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

Hey Bears, good luck with your new whiner!

Section: Left Floor
Row: 18
2 tickets

$160 for the pair

email me if you’re interested: nate@goodegggazette.com

Day 1 – Friday, February 20, 2009

11:00 AM Rose drops me off at the Des Moines Airport. Goodbye kiss, I’ll miss you, etc…

11:02 Airport lounge.  I probably won’t be drinking very much on this trip so I better have a beer now. Thank god it’s only $6. I woudn’t want to cut into my gambling stash.

11:46 A couple beers later it’s time to board the plane to Denver.

1:16 PM Denver time. I really need a beer now. That was the worst landing ever. I felt like a Bounce sheet getting tossed around inside a dryer. I’ll hear later that some of the other guys who connected in Denver had the same experience. I guess 30 mph cross winds make landing a plane smoothly a difficult maneuver.

1:40 My sandwich was disgusting but the beer helped wash it down. I’m sensing a trend.

3:30 Vegas time. We’re here. There are slot machines within 50 feet of getting off the plane. I hold off…for now. A lady who got off the plane next to me hits one for $1600. It’s a sign of my luck to come.

4:00 The round-trip hotel shuttle costs $16. A one-way cab costs about $40. This is one of the easier decisions of the trip. The shuttle I’m in is advertising Jay White as Neil Diamond. Too bad I’m not staying at the Riviera. I could listen to Sweet Caroline all night.

5:00 The shuttle ride is finally over. We had to make a stop at Circus Circus first. It kind of reminds me of the island of Never Land with all the kids running around. We almost run one of them over and the driver unleashes cuss words even I don’t know. Maybe the cab would’ve been a better idea.

5:15 I’m staying at the Plaza Hotel and Casino. I’m actually impressed. I wasn’t sure what I was getting for $20 a night. They even gave me a free upgrade to a Pool Room View. We’ll see if that’s really an upgrade or not. I think all the pretty people are staying on The Strip.

5:18 Unpacked and back on the casino floor. This is going to be a long night.

7:00 Meet some of the other guys out on Fremont Street. There is live music coming from all corners, the beer is cheap, and the light show on the ceiling is amazing. A dozen casinos are within a 5 minute walk. I’m like a fat kid in a candy store. This isn’t good.

8:30 Order some ribs and mac & cheese from one of the outside vendors. If I could give an award for best mac & cheese they would win. Sadly by Sunday they have disappeared.

10:15 A cutie sits down at the same bank of slots some of us are playing. One of the guys asks her where she’s from and without a word she gets up and leaves. I laugh for the next 15 minutes. My buddies couldn’t pick up a chick if they had velcro fingers.

2:00 am Time to call it quits for the night. I think I’m down about $40 but really I have no idea. I was up $70 from the roulette table but thought it would be a good night to learn how to play blackjack. This is another of many bad ideas for the weekend. At least we talked the pit boss into comping us a breakfast.

Day 2 – Saturday, February 21, 2009

9:30 AM What a view!

9:50 Enjoying my comped breakfast at Lucky 7′s Buffet. Every meal is $7.77. Catchy. It’s actually pretty good…I think. The taste buds are a little out of whack this morning. The milk tastes good anyway. I spent enough last night to get a few more buffets so I’m sure I’ll be here again. We’re going to The Strip later today. Much debauchery will ensue I’m sure.

Quick recap of last night: beer is free while you play. Terrible idea for me. Great idea for the casinos.

12:00 PM Grabbed a slice of pizza on Fremont Street and now we’re heading to The Strip. One of the guys is just killing 3 card poker…allegedly…so we’re going to verify.

3:00 Unable to verify any winnings. The casinos down here are so packed you can’t get on a table and you definitely can’t get a couple of open slots next to each other. The money I was up from this morning is long gone and the cocktail waitresses are avoiding me like the plague. Vegas sucks.

3:00 AM Recap of the night: The Bellagio fountains are pretty cool. They do a show every hour and we just happened to be walking by when one started. A hustler tried to give us discount tickets to a strip club. $10 off cover charge and a free limo to pick us up and take us there. We would have had to “negotiate” our own return from the middle of nowhere. I think we saved about $1000 in return cab fare and a major fleecing by not going.

When you walk down The Strip hundreds of guys stand in a line by the street and hand out stripper cards. The trick is DON’T LOOK AT THEM! If you look they can approach/solicit/annoy the hell out of you. Just keep walking!

Hit the buffet again for supper. This stuff is pretty good. The rest of the night went like this: Fremont Experience light show. Beers. Slots. Beers. Roulette. Beers. More slots. Beers. Craps. Vegas doesn’t suck anymore. Goodnight.

Day 3 – Sunday, February 22, 2009

Any ideas for workouts? Diets? What I really want to know though is how to keep eating pizza and drinking beer and not exercising and still drop a few pounds.

Stay posted. Feel free to leave comments on your own diets/workouts and why they worked or why they failed.

This doesn’t really take the sting out though, does it?

Where is this all going? I’ll tell you.

Have you seen the latest McDonald’s commercial? There’s a guy walking around town asking what he can get for his dollar. He gets a little palm tree and an empty dry cleaning plastic bag then goes to McDonald’s where he finds out from the cashier (who can actually speak in complete sentences and has a personality) that he can get a double cheeseburger for a dollar.

Wait a second! What about sales tax? The guy doesn’t ask what he can get for $1.06 or $1.08! He says for a dollar. I bet if I tried to pay $1 for a double cheeseburger at the McDonald’s out here that wouldn’t be enough.

To top it all off, at the end of the commercial they show this happy customer sitting outside biting into his delicious burger with a whole slew of other items on his tray. He’s got a delectable ice cream treat, a cup of only-good-at-McDonald’s Coke, some crispy golden french fries, probably a fresh baked apple pie or two. If he can afford all that, why is he worrying about what he can get for a dollar?

***

My second day of work at Ticket Solutions one of the guys asked if I wanted anything from Wendy’s. Knowing that they had chicken nuggets for $.99 I said “Yeah, get me a couple things of nuggets” and gave him a couple bucks. I also said that because I only had $2 to my name at the time. Can you guess what happened? He brought me one order of nuggets and $.94. You can’t forget the sales tax!!