Oct
10
He put the ‘jack’ in jack-o-lantern
October 10, 2007 |
The local police arrested Robert Aylor, 59 year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.
On Monday, at the County courthouse, Aylor was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session he decided to stop. “You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn’t anyone around” he stated in a telephone interview.
Aylor went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged ‘need.’ “Guess I was really into it, you know?” he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed, Aylor failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.
“It was an unusual situation, that’s for sure,” said officer Taylor. “I walked up to Mr. Aylor and he’s just banging away at this pumpkin.” Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Aylor.
“I said, “Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you’re having sex with a pumpkin?”
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said…
“A pumpkin? Shit…is it midnight already?”
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crude
Reminds me of the stories on KGGO, dude.
This guy sounds like he should have a capital L branded on his perverted head! You know, come to think of it, women in the old days used to have to wear an A if they were adulterous or promiscuous. It would be only fitting if men who were perverts had to wear a P for life. There would be no doubt when anybody came in contact with them, then. How about that, Nate?